To further Lafayette's dream of building an ark, they founded a school in town to focus on timber, animal husbandry, and general agriculture. He finally got his comeuppance for founding CincinnatiĪ. The whole town was devastated by the death, honoring Lafayette by renaming the town Fayetteville, and repurposing his slogan as the name of the newly incorporated territory, Arkansas 3.Ĥ. ![]() The mayor was furious, to the point where he, ironically, drowned Monty in his own still, covered up the death as natural causes, and exhorted the people to continue god's work. Well, one day shortly before the election, Lafayette took a few too many nips from his private reserve, and made a drunken confession to the town mayor that he'd made everything up, even fessing up to actually being Thomas Jefferson's red-headed.child, Monty. Lafayette even ran for the governorship of the territory, running on a platform of revitalizing the timber industry through biblical salvation, with a catchy slogan of "Ark & Saw!" Well, the good ole Marquis was quite the persuasive speaker, and pretty soon had all the loggers in the camp hard at work on a giant boat as well as out collecting pairs of all the animals they could find. Life grew a little boring for Lafayette, so one day he claimed to have received a vision from god that the second flood was coming and that his mission was to build the vessel to save all the animals of the world. He was thus eagerly welcomed by the calendar- and math-challenged timbermen, and quickly settled in amongst them, his acceptance likely accelerated by the still he soon had up and running.Ī few years passed, and the camp grew into a small town, with the loggers settling down and starting families. Well, knowing logging men in the remote Ozark Mountains were likely to be suspect of outsiders, he played upon their patriotism (hello, Washington County) and claimed to be the Marquis de Lafayette (despite the real Marquis having died 20 years earlier) on a grand tour of the US. ![]() They were after him for a variety of offenses, the most noteworthy being running an illegal still, drowning a deputy who discovered said still in the still, then bottling and selling the resultant whiskey 2. Their saga begins at a remote logging camp in Washington County, AR in the 1850s, where a man on the run from the authorities took a job to help hide from the law. Of course! The University of Arkansas has a long and illustrious history, even before naming themselves after a giant, delicious rural rat 1. Why don't you give us all some background on this upcoming opponent?Ī. They, of course, trail far behind their SEC West brethren in this off the field measure as well, particularly that school in Tuscaloosa who selected the antichrist as their mascot and head coach.ģ. Yes, the University of Arkansas has fully embraced the SEC's national role as the villain of college football by using a B-list Ninja Turtle bad guy as their mascot. They were! And keeping in the spirit of this column, we're not going to talk about the other half! And those Coastal Division rings were parlayed into a third trip to North Carolina this season to face the delicious hogs of Arkansas. Well, half of those things sounds cool.Ī. Aside the aforementioned ACC Championship Game which was remarkably entertaining and enjoyable for a loss, the Hokies slept walk through a Belllllllk-inducing loss to Georgia Tech, accomplished a remarkable comeback in South Bend, and curb stomped the Hoos bad enough that it was 38-0, bro, four minutes into the third quarter.Ģ. ![]() What have I missed since you last bothered us?Ī. Oh god, I thought about the offseason and just Belked in my mouth a littleġ. That's right, Tech travels to Charlotte to face Arkansas in a mid-week, late afternoon bowl game in an NFL stadium with a sponsor that sounds like a synonym for a vomit-burp! The Hokies now celebrate a successful season with an appearance in a prestigious bowl, played at an exotic location, against a marquee opponent. It's bowl season! After your beloved Hokies returned to their rightful place atop the Coastal Division, a helluva showing in the ACC Championship Game restored my faith in the future of Virginia Tech football.
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